The Five People You Meet In Puregold

 

D 'SECRET AGENT'

in-house security personnel dressed in 'plain clothes'. they think they have peripheral vision and yet are so obviously checking out PG (a.k.a. patay-gutom shoplifters.)

mapalalaki o babaeng may bigote... kung sino pa ang naka-plainclothes siya pa ang halatang nag-pupulis-pulisan. *sigh* so lacking in lessons in subtlety 101.

PUREGOLD SECRET AGENT (at the exit of puregold): ma'am, yung kinuha niyo sa aisle ng "bibi" products, nabayaran niyo?

CUSTOMER: binalik ko sa tabi nung mga katol, wala pala akong baby eh.


THE "PROMODIZER"

now where in websters did such an anime sounding name take root? could it be the person who coined the title thought himself so witty he actually gloated?

basically, a promodizer is a promogirl who was duped into taking on the added task of taking inventory checks.


THE "GROCERY EVANGELIST"

be it edmark's answer to the swiss knife, or a power-sucking vacuum able to lift bowling balls off your carpet... these are the products these evangelists sell in knock down counters... all of which eventually find their way to the same part of your kitchen cabinets as your magic juicer.

the evangelist calls out to "misis" for a demo. he/she is deft with his/her hands, eluding having fingers cut off from by the "Wonder Knife" that's able to slice up everything from onions to the damned hard buko.

MOMMYMY: "eh bakit ko naman sa-slicin' ang buko no?"

the consumer evangelist is the present-day SM salesgirl (read: "sels gel") who used to stand near a column in SM Makati talking to a handheld mic talking to someone in a dark, dank, shoe warehouse.

"dun daw sa black, size 7,9. ano? ano? 'la daw, sa white lang!"


MS. 'PONG PAGONG' SHOPPER

don't you just hate those women who hog the tongs and take ages to pick through fish in the wet section of the supermarket?

"utang na loob lola, mamili ka na. pare-pareho lang 'yang tilapiang bilasa't tinarakan ng tubig para tumaba." (*&^%%$! kupad nito...)


SI 'SINGIT'

there is a reason behind express lanes. it is for those who haven't the budget to do their grocery shopping in one grocery visit and as such could not stock up on their needs except through installment buying basis.

MS. SINGIT1: "miss, ok lang? three items lang naman..."
SHOPPER1: "kung papayag yung labinglimang siningitan mo, oo ba!"

MS. SINGIT2: "sige na miss, nagmamadali lang talaga ako..."
MOMMYMY: "'yoko nga."

Sabi ni Claire: Aba mga *&^%$#! mga 'to!

lagot kayo, sumbong ko kayo sa nanay ko. bakit niyo tinatawanan ang claire eh 'yan ang laman ng birth certificate ko.

o eto pa,

second name ko, CLAIRE
second name ni Julian, TERRY
pangalan ng tatay ko, NAPOLEON
lumaki ako tinawag na, "LING-LING"!

good god, how more irregular could the names of my family get!

question: sinich si "kai"?

Returning Queen Of The Purpose-Driven Blog

i'm here, i'm bumming and i'm two hours past hungry. a rationale behind creating a blog when there's tons of housework left to be done still eludes me. yeah sure.

but hey, at least it's up and running again.

let's just say two years without blogging is sadder than pointless online ranting and raving. aaaah, the return of the purpose driven blog, she says.

blame it on two blog whores, who by osmosis, have duped me into resurrecting this godawful time consuming habit.

as such, the first attempt is to invade their turfs. bwahaha. maghanda kayo, charmaine at jay. kakain lang ako't natuyuan ang utak ko...

hey jay, i tried out your 3 things thingy, borrowing it for a bit to make the proper introduction ---

three names i go by:
1. mylene – whether on-air (on “panggap” mode), in print at saka sabi kasi ng nanay ko pangalan ko daw yan eh
2. my – the preferred apellation by peyups chicacom and lazy ass friends who may secretly have something against my mother’s name choice
3. claire – the cyberspace dominatrix trippin’ on her ‘puter

three things i like about yourself:
1. i can still dance like no one is watching
2. i can laugh at myself
3. i can still outwit boredom

three things i hate about yourself:
1. willpower cannot curb my sweet tooth
2. i procrastinate
3. i still haven’t learned to say no when i should

three things i don't understand:
1. why many prefer to be bleached than brown
2. why pinoys still vote idiots into public office
3. why many behave better the farther they are from the Philippines when its so much fun to be the other way around

three things that scare me:
1. losing my sense of humor
2. becoming oh-so-jaded
3. people losing respect for one another

three things that annoy me:
1. clueless ignoramuses
2. body odor
3. butchers of the english language complete with “p” & “f” defects and misplaced “h” in names

three of my everyday essentials:
1. bathroom rituals
2. conversations with my son, the stinkerbell
3. laughter

three people i spend the most time with:
1. julian, the love of my life
2. my father
3. significant other online

three things i want really bad right now:
1. chips
2. amnesia to forget unpaid bills
3. a personal genie

three of my favorite hobbies:
1. chatting
2. raving and ranting in writing
3. reading in bed

three of my favorites songs:
1. paula cole – “me”
2. right said fred - “swan”
3. johann pachelbel – “canon in d major”

three of my favorite brands:
nope. I am not the least bit a slave of brandnames that come and go…unless of course we’re talking about home entertainment appliances

three things i can't do:
1. swim
2. color my own hair
3. keep flabs at bay

three careers i am considering:
1. childhood educator
2. scriptwriter
3. duh, phone sex call center representative?



* ambient sound - futile attempts by a barmatoda boy to get his dying tricycle up and revving. he is in front of the driveway and annoying the life out of me. enough already!

* flighty thoughts drifting to - a sequel to the succulent and juicy killing-me-softly high-cholesterol burgers ... as if i didn't have my fill from 2 layers of ultimate patties from hotshots last night.

* recurring thought - i must have been a gay man in a previous lifetime.