The Five People You Meet In Puregold

 

D 'SECRET AGENT'

in-house security personnel dressed in 'plain clothes'. they think they have peripheral vision and yet are so obviously checking out PG (a.k.a. patay-gutom shoplifters.)

mapalalaki o babaeng may bigote... kung sino pa ang naka-plainclothes siya pa ang halatang nag-pupulis-pulisan. *sigh* so lacking in lessons in subtlety 101.

PUREGOLD SECRET AGENT (at the exit of puregold): ma'am, yung kinuha niyo sa aisle ng "bibi" products, nabayaran niyo?

CUSTOMER: binalik ko sa tabi nung mga katol, wala pala akong baby eh.


THE "PROMODIZER"

now where in websters did such an anime sounding name take root? could it be the person who coined the title thought himself so witty he actually gloated?

basically, a promodizer is a promogirl who was duped into taking on the added task of taking inventory checks.


THE "GROCERY EVANGELIST"

be it edmark's answer to the swiss knife, or a power-sucking vacuum able to lift bowling balls off your carpet... these are the products these evangelists sell in knock down counters... all of which eventually find their way to the same part of your kitchen cabinets as your magic juicer.

the evangelist calls out to "misis" for a demo. he/she is deft with his/her hands, eluding having fingers cut off from by the "Wonder Knife" that's able to slice up everything from onions to the damned hard buko.

MOMMYMY: "eh bakit ko naman sa-slicin' ang buko no?"

the consumer evangelist is the present-day SM salesgirl (read: "sels gel") who used to stand near a column in SM Makati talking to a handheld mic talking to someone in a dark, dank, shoe warehouse.

"dun daw sa black, size 7,9. ano? ano? 'la daw, sa white lang!"


MS. 'PONG PAGONG' SHOPPER

don't you just hate those women who hog the tongs and take ages to pick through fish in the wet section of the supermarket?

"utang na loob lola, mamili ka na. pare-pareho lang 'yang tilapiang bilasa't tinarakan ng tubig para tumaba." (*&^%%$! kupad nito...)


SI 'SINGIT'

there is a reason behind express lanes. it is for those who haven't the budget to do their grocery shopping in one grocery visit and as such could not stock up on their needs except through installment buying basis.

MS. SINGIT1: "miss, ok lang? three items lang naman..."
SHOPPER1: "kung papayag yung labinglimang siningitan mo, oo ba!"

MS. SINGIT2: "sige na miss, nagmamadali lang talaga ako..."
MOMMYMY: "'yoko nga."